What Love Has Taught Me So Far
- Chrishauna Curry
- Jun 23, 2017
- 3 min read
Throughout my 18 years of living, I found myself trying to analyse the difference between loving yourself and becoming selfish. We live in a individualised culture. Everyone is so focused on themselves, that they seem to have no time to love anyone else.
Countless times I have found myself being hurt because I loved another more than myself. However,I thought the pain was necessary in order to keep my tenderheartedness. I did not want to become coldhearted, so thought that love was worth pain. If there were more people that loved as hard and genuinely as I did, maybe this earth would be a better place.
I realised that the root of my pain was expecting too much from others. I was giving so much with nothing in return and it took a toll on my heart. Through all the pain, I realised that my heart made me special. I would rather neglect myself than to neglect another. I would rather be hurt than to let another person be miserable. I thought it was a positive trait, until I realised that I did not deserve the pain that I was putting myself through.
In every past relationship, I found myself being absolutely broken because I placed all of myself into the relationship unlike my partner. Recently, I broke up with a boyfriend that I spent almost two years of my life with. He was the person I told everything to. After all of that time that we were together, he became a part of me and my happiness. After he left, I did not know what to do with myself. I was so angered and saddened that my emotions would not let me pick up a pen or a laptop to write about how I felt.
I wanted to stop loving.
I wanted to stop living.
I wanted to just give up on marriage, children, and sharing my life with another person. Pain and bitterness had the best of me. I grew tired of having faith in others because it seemed as though everyone will betray and hurt me.
TI have came to the conclusion that everyone I have a relationship or friendship with will possibly hurt me. In the way Jesus suffered because he loved us, we must suffer because we love others. What we should focus on is whether or not the individual is worth the pain.
I realised that I loved my ex boyfriend deeply, but I deserved more than his cheating, I deserve more than his disrespect, I deserved more than his dishonesty, and I deserved more than his arrogance.
My past boyfriends did not love me, but merely took advantage of me.
Therefore, never let your love and kindness blind you from what you deserve. Also, never take someone that loves you for granted.
I believe that love is the only thing in this earth that is pure. Therefore, let no one sabotage the way you think about love. Never let anyone make you believe that love is merely a route to pain and bitterness. Love is so much more than what we think.
If we could learn to love others while loving ourselves, we would experience less hurt and less self-damage.
Take time to appreciate those around you, but also take time to take a step back and appreciate yourself. It is not selfish to admire yourself. It is not selfish to be kind to yourself.
It is not selfish to truly love yourself.
You are enough
You are worthy of love
You are responsible for giving yourself the love you deserve.
Comments