People are not Homes
- Tiless Turnquest
- Sep 29, 2017
- 2 min read
"You can't make homes out of human beings, someone should have already told you that." - For women who are 'difficult' to love by Warsan Shire
It is so easy to make a home out of a warm body.
They are so comfortable, they are so alive. It is so easy to make a home out of a warm body when your actual home is so cold. However, the thing about warm-blooded homes in comparison to their concrete constructed sisters is that people can walk out of your life but a concrete home is permanent -- at least, it should be. You cannot make homes out of people because when they leave you, you then become homeless.
Homelessness is one of the worst feelings of displacement.
I have learned that some of us will always be displaced because we constantly make homes out of people. We settle into the warmth of others. We decorate them with our love. We hang up photos on their walls. We have hot meals at their tables. We get too comfortable in them. They feel safe because they are safe... for the time being.
You cannot make homes out of human beings, someone should have already told you that.
So you have made a home out of someone. I have too. I have made many homes therefore, I have many homes. Thus, I also feel displaced because it is so unsettling to have homes leave you. This is not a natural course of action to have a home leave you. Naturally, you and I must leave home. It should always be one's decision to leave home not vice versa.
You cannot make homes out of human beings, I am telling you this now.
Home is where the heart is. So imagine having so many homes with your heart in it. Logically, it makes sense to assume that you are heartless. Essentially, you are because your heart has been shared too many times and no one ever returns it back to your permanent address because you either don't have a permanent address, or you have too many addresses. Sometimes, it is both for me.
Making homes out of people, believe me, is irresponsible.
I think naturally it makes sense to stop making homes out of people. However, for some of us, like myself, this is synonymous with our nature. What should we do if we love to build homes? I think we must learn how to make a home for ourselves. We must become our own home because we can never leave ourselves. We must teardown homes of the past, and build new ones. If you are a person who likes more than one home, I will tell you that it is okay to build many within yourself. But if you must build homes in other people (some of us cannot help this) then I suggest that you build them smaller and less inviting than the one(s) in yourself.
You cannot make homes out of human beings, someone should have already told you that. Warsan is telling you that and I am telling you that. Believe us.
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